Dear friends -

I am STEAMED - literally STEAMED!, I tell you, about some of the advertising that I have seen for pets lately!  There are so many things out there that we dogs know darn well is bad for our health, even if your owners don't know.  I hope that all of my doggie readers will sit your people down and have a stern talk with them to NOT fall for some of this stuff that I am going to tell you about this month.

Here is the first thing I am - well, I will say upset about, because Mom says that I need to watch my tongue. But I think you will see that I am more than "upset" - in fact, I am outraged!  (Mom is only letting me say what I have to say because I am a dog and she says she is sure that you all know that this is MY opinion and not necessarily hers.)  In case you didn't know, that is called a disclaimer.  It is good to use disclaimers when something needs to be someone else's fault.  I like disclaimers!  I am currently disclaiming responsibility for this place on the basement rug that is not smelling so good..... 

OK, where was I?  It is so hard for Terriers to stay focused.....Oh yes! There is a veterinary product that a certain company I can't name has been trying to get veterinarians to push to their clients for years.  It is a shot for heartworm disease that only has to be given every 6 months.  Veterinarians are supposed to tell their clients that it is a better idea than that once a month pill that most of us take.  You know the one I am talking about - it tastes pretty darn good.  I'm not supposed to mention brands names so I will just tell you that I LIKE my chewy Heart---- treat, and it helps with those icky intestinal worms, too.  But this company that sells the Proh---t, the shot, wants all of us dogs to get an extra shot twice a year instead.  Now, this company pushed the - well, let's just call it "P" for short, that says lots, too - anyway, the "P" was pushed to veterinarians once before.  In fact, the company got a lot of veterinarians to agree to appear in ads, with their picture in some veterinary magazines, saying that they recommend this product.   And then a bunch of these veterinarians ended up looking like - well, like those opossums that pretend that they are dead when you play with them - have you ever seen them do that?  That is exactly what I bet those veterinarians wanted to do when the news came out that pets were getting sick and some even died after they got a shot of this "P" stuff.  And that was after they got over thinking that instead of looking educated and sophisticated in those ads, they looked like the hind end of a mule, even with the dandy white jackets they got to wear for the ads. And what happened was that after enough dogs got really sick and more died, the "P" was pulled off the market as an unsafe drug.

But now, "P" is back.  And it is advertised a lot.  Try this: google the "P" and see what you get.  One of the things you will get is a special consent form that your vet is supposed to make you sign before they give your dog a shot of "P."  It says that you and your vet have discussed the side effects which include - and NO, I am not making any of this up! - severe allergic reaction, seizures, bleeding, weight loss, diarrhea, and vomiting.  Well, THAT'S a nice perk for getting an extra shot, dontcha think?????   So that's what my busy little paws researched about "P"'s safety....

What about convenience?  Is a shot of "P" more convenient than taking that once a month tasty pill?  Well, not if you get any of those bad side effects - or even if you get carsick going to the vet's office!  But maybe your owners LIKE to take the extra time to make an appointment, drive you there, wait in the reception area, wait in the exam room, pay more than a whole year of those monthly pills costs, mop up after you in the car on the way home, when you barf down into the seat belt holders and that little rubber ring around the stick shift, and then run you back at 3am if you start seizuring.  And maybe they agree that's a lot easier than giving you a little Heart---- treat once a month.  I'm just a dog and I don't always understand what people prefer to do.

But the company is doing even more, and you can find this if you google "P,"too.  Veterinarians are supposed to take special training sessions to learn how to sell the "P" and how to reduce the chances that it will make you seizure or have a life-threatening reaction to it.  And they are not allowed to sell the "P" until they take the class. I asked my mom about this and she said that it sounded to her that if you had to take a special class to avoid killing your patients when you give them a shot of something that you also have to make them sign a consent form to even give, maybe it would be better to spend the time to have your head examined instead.

And there is MORE bad stuff being advertised, too!  Have you ever been online late at night, maybe looking at sites that you know darn well you shouldn't be looking at, and the ad with the dog getting squooshed by weights pops up?  You know the one I mean - where the dog gets shorter and shorter?  Well, that is an ad for a pill that is supposed to make your dog lose weight.  I can't tell you the name of this one - Mom would be SO mad - but the generic name is dirlotapide.  If you google THAT one, you'll get the name that comes up with the squooshed dog ad and you'll also get some articles about the problems that happen to some people when they take this drug.  The ad name is "S" and that's all I'm gonna say.

Now, let’s be serious for a minute.  I am absolutely, positively, NOT suggesting that it is not good to lose weight if you are chubby.  (DO YOU HEAR ME, NICKY AND NATASCHA???)   I am also not suggesting that you should not take your heartworm pill every month.  Both heartworm disease and being too fat can kill you, my friends.  If you are too fat, you can have a lot of serious health problems.  Like the ads for this "S" pill says, being fat can make it harder for you to breathe and can give you high blood pressure.  And if you are fat and you have arthritis or are built long and low like my friends Nicky and Natascha, the extra weight on your joints is painful.  And if you also have those extra-attractive fat rolls in places, they can get all icky and infected.  But I just don't know that taking a pill to lose weight is the smartest way to go....

Do you remember those ads for similar products for people?  The ones that said that you'd be fabulously thin and would feel great except for a few little side effects?  Like gas, and, umm, "oily discharge?"  I asked my Mom about that and once I found out exactly where this oily discharge comes from, I thought - well..... THAT would be great!  You finally have convinced that hot person at work to go out with you, and you're going to have to make excuses for your gas and oily discharge?  And with this "S" pill, there's more date excitement.......you might be having a wonderful time on your date with that attractive Poodle you've had your eye on, until you suddenly have to stop and vomit.  But it's nothing!  That's what a veterinarian at a big veterinary meeting my Mom went to said, at a lecture on this new pill a couple years back.  You won't feel sick or anything - you'll just vomit spontaneously, get back up, and continue on with your date as if nothing happened - except for - er, gas. And maybe more.  Well - I'm glad we got THAT cleared up!

And here's the worst part, my chubby friends:  once you stop taking the pill, you will gain your weight back.  All of it, and maybe even more.  It's just like when people try to lose weight.  Unless you, el porko - yeah, I'm talking to you! - change your eating habits and stop being a couch potato, you will NOT be successful in keeping extra weight off.  Why are we dogs fat? For the same reason people are fat - because we eat too much and we don't exercise enough.  I asked my Mom if this was true and she told me that it took her 55 years to get smart enough to know that it was true for 99% of dogs and cats and people - including her!  So now, at my house, we are all losing weight, but we are not doing it with any "S" pills. We know that they cost a lot of money and will not KEEP us healthy.  (Besides, we don't like spontaneous vomiting on dates.)  Or gas.  Or oily discharge - ewwww!  We eat a healthy diet, twice a day, and Mom includes any treats we get in our daily calorie count.  Besides that, we get N-O-T-H-I-N-G to eat. Sad but true.  And we all walk a lap or two with Mom when she does her 3 miles a day.    And we're very glad that we don't have to do those workouts she does three times a week, but we DO like the extra ball-playing that she does with us - I guess that's kind of a workout, isn't it?

So, my friends - this month's moral from Lizzie is to be careful about those ads you see.  Read them carefully.  Look at the lists of possible side effects, and see if you can live with them happening to YOU.  Don't get distracted by testimonials - you don't really care what good anything does for someone else - you need to know what it can do for YOU.  If you aren't sure if a product is right for you, tell your Mom to call your veterinary hospital and ask.  The people at veterinary hospitals are good at explaining things, and they can tell you what to do.

Until next month - stay safe, take your heartworm pills, and tell your owners to LOVE you more and FEED you less!

Your friend,

LIZZIE