My dear friends...you must go, right now, and get your human’s attention however possible (growl, purr, wag your cute little butt, dig your claws in their leg, whatever it takes!) so that they can read my column this month. This is really for your benefit, because what I intend to talk to them about is designed to make sure that you do not get one of those simply AWFUL gifts for the holidays that makes you want to say “You shouldn’t have!” - and really mean it. You know what I am talking about, because many of us have gotten one of those gifts waaayyyy too often.
Now, a lot of time and attention is given to this topic in the newspapers because (it seems) that people often give those kinds of gifts to each other. You know, things like a triple-chrome-plated and monogrammed nose hair remover, or a six-pack of spatulas, or a kit to grow mushrooms, or...well, you get my drift. Not that we care if humans give those things to each other!! In fact, now that I think of it, if they did, they might find time to get better gifts for their pets. But still, I have never seen this same attention given to things you should get your pet, so I am going to list MY top picks for good holiday gifts for the pets you love.
IDEA #1: Ask your human to buy a good pet book that has recipes in it for home-made pet food, so that they can sometimes fix us the same fresh food that THEY get to eat. Surely they have to realize that eating even a good quality dry or canned food is like eating 100% balanced Wheaties every day. Remind them that most pets LOVE fresh food!
IDEA #2: Instead of some icky, calorie-laden, artificially colored and flavored pet snack, ask for some REAL treats. I personally like things like dehydrated liver chunks, chicken jerky, and those dehydrated sweet potato treats. And raw baby carrots, too! I asked my kitties Emmett and Xena what they like and they said to not forget liver chunks for them, too. And maybe some canned sardines on occasion, or a single fresh shrimp. Xena says to tell your human to not be ashamed to ask for just one or two shrimp, either - tell that person at the fish counter that Dr. Mitchell does it all the time for her kitties!
IDEA #3: Emmett and Xena say that they really, really, really like 2 special kinds of kitty toys the most - those little cloth animals that are stuffed with crackly stuff inside, ‘cause they crunch like a bug when you bite them, and those little tinsel balls that are fun to biff around and lose under the sofa.
For myself, I like anything that I can kill the squeaker in and rip the innards out of. (Mom HATES it when I do this!) I’m very good at it though - the toy hasn’t been invented that I can‘t “kill” in under 3 minutes!
IDEA #4: I, personally, would like to encourage you to ask your humans to promise to give you a nice long walk every day (OK, maybe they can take one day a week off, but they should try to walk you every day if they can). Especially when we get a little old and arthritic, there is nothing better for you, my friends, than a good brisk walk every day!
IDEA #5: A day in the dentist’s chair isn’t exactly a spa visit, but it is SO nice to have fresh breath and gums that don’t hurt! So whisper in your person’s ear to take a look at your teeth. If those teeth are yellow, or if your gums are red, you are OVERDUE for a good dental cleaning, and, my friend, I want to tell you that this is one of the best holiday presents they could give you. Why? Because keeping your teeth and gums healthy can add YEARS to your life.
IDEA #6: Are you perhaps not as fresh as you could be? Do you have that bed-head look going? Why not drop a tasteful hint to your human to take you to a groomer for a nice bath and fluff-up? If your human doesn’t know any groomers, tell them to call the hospital and we can tell them who our clients like to have groom their pets (we keep a list of groomers who are nice and gentle).
IDEA #7: Are you an older gentleman? Is your owner? (If he is, he already knows where I am going with this, I bet!) If you are a senior canine, you really need to make sure that you have your prostate checked regularly if you are not neutered. Your vet will need to put on a glove to do this. I will not say more, except to say that it is really, really important to get this checked regularly!
IDEA #8: If you are a senior ANYBODY, why not ask your owner to get you a senior health panel as your big holiday gift? You will remember that I talked about blood tests some months ago, and told you what you needed to get checked and why. If you are older than 7 years of age, you need to get this done NOW. The information your human will get could save your life.
IDEA #9: Here is a great idea for a gift that you will love (but won’t get to use till summer). Does your owner know about the cool boat cruises that they can take with you on the Chicago lakefront? You and your owner will meet a lot of other nice pet-loving people and you’ll have a great time seeing Chicago from a new vantage point. Enjoy those summer lake breezes, and don’t forget the Dramamine!
IDEA #10: And if you are still feeling sociable after that, convince your owner to take you to a White Sox game on their Pet Game Day next summer. The Sox have one every summer, and it’s a nice opportunity for you and your owner to share a beer, a bratwurst, (well, maybe you shouldn’t share the beer, but hold out for the brat!), and a great time in a great ball park. I wish the Cubbies had one of these...that’s my Mom’s favorite team!
From your good friend Lizzie, best wishes for a wonderful holiday season full of all the things that please you and your humans the most. Stay warm, and I’ll check in again in 2007!
